GWAR: The shock-rock beasts of blood-shed bring a monstrous moment of mayhem to the mighty Majestic Theater of Metro Detroit.
Faster than a decapitated victim of political satire can scream out “Death To Dickie Duncan,” a mysterious bus full of axe-wielding, blood-dripping beasties have arrived in the Motor City. They are ready to give the cult-like hordes of Metro Detroit a most sloppy and “Gwariffic” evening of epic proportions. On this bus, we find the things that our most gruesome nightmares are made of: mutant combinations of H.P. Lovecraft-ish monsters, crossed with the Norse mythos and infused with current political and social maladies. These monstrous creations are better known and loved as the theatrical thunder gods of thrash metal… GWAR. GWAR has brought with them a capacity crowd that rings in a “Sold Out” status to the mighty Majestic of Motown. The cult-like following lines the sidewalks of the historic Woodward Avenue, dressed appropriately for the night’s adventure. Some wearing rain ponchos, some wearing vintage GWAR swag from the 80s and 90s, and all wearing the proud smile of a “Sold Out” ticket holder.
The time is now 10:29pm and we see that the massive stage of the Majestic has been set to a post-apocalyptic, sci-fi/psycho-thriller theme. Dual monitors come to life as the “People’s Court” theme song blasts over the sound system. Out comes our first victim of the night, a towering mountain of man, portraying a police officer. Hulking behemoths emerge from the shadows to surround him center stage before a roaring horde of metalheads. The night is in gear and GWAR is here! The stage lights ignite and the thunderous voice of Blothar the Berserker booms through the sound system as he greets the citizens of Detroit with the power and charisma of a tyrannical dictator. The electricity of the evening explodes as the night’s first decapitation immediately follows, guided by the melodic soundtrack of opening song “Fuck This Place.” Lead guitarist Pustulus Maximus stands tall as he grinds the night’s riffs from his unholy axe. GWAR has brought a 90-minute setlist with them, covering three decades of their unique theatrical thrash metal.
Up next comes “Sick Of You,” “Krak Down,” and into the classic track “Maggots.” Moshers of young and old take to the floor in a mass of sweaty, bloody, bouncing bodies. “Metal Metal Land” brings a terrific response from the crowd as they sing along with the Mighty Blothar’s booming voice. The fans are in awe as a latex version of Caitlyn Jenner takes center stage, explaining to all that she is pregnant. Team GWAR help with a makeshift C-section as the crowd is sprayed with Jenner’s birthing fluids and bloody goo as the band performs “Hail Genocide.” Drummer Jizmak Da Gusha keeps the backbeat strong, while bassist Beefcake The Mighty’s bass lines keep the groove tight and in the pocket. A memorable rendition of “Beat You To Death,” followed by “I Bonesnapper” and “Bring Back The Bomb,” have guitarist Balsac and Pustulus working the stage as hard as their axes as they deliver razor blade riffs sharp enough to slice your ear off. “Death To Dickie Duncan” bowls over the crowd next followed by the campy “Ham On The Bone.” The front row gets sauced again as GWAR sprays their proprietary blend of bloody magic across the troops. Blothar commands the stage as he belts out “I’ll Be Your Monster.” The exhausted crowd takes to the mosh pit once again, slamming themselves silly as the tune rolls into the notorious GWAR theme song. A confused and exhausted horde stands idle as team GWAR has abruptly brought the chaos to an end… or did they? They return to deliver an encore of the sardonic symposium known as “If You Want Blood (You’ve Got It)” And it rained down… the bloody red droplets coating the smiling fans.
As the lights grow dim and GWAR leaves the stage, the stinging memories of a blood-soaked night of ear-bleeding metal shall linger forever. GWAR comes as a highly recommended and energetic concert experience that will leave you sweaty, smelly, bloody and full of nightmares! Good Fun!!! Catch them on their Collusion 2019 Tour today. Performance dates, details and current news can be found on the band’s official website.GWAR
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